Stopping Gossip and Triangulation Before It Spreads
When gossip or side conversations take root, trust erodes fast.
This lesson gives you a structured, psychologically safe approach to stop triangulation before it damages relationships or team morale.
Lesson Description
You’ll learn how to reinforce direct communication standards, redirect inappropriate conversations, and protect psychological safety without shaming anyone involved.
You’ll Learn How To:
Address gossip calmly and professionally
Reinforce “Direct > Indirect” communication norms
Protect confidentiality while resetting boundaries
Model transparent dialogue that rebuilds trust
Core Steps:
Open with care — “I’ve noticed some side conversations that may cause confusion.”
Name the pattern — “I’ve heard comments about others when they’re not present.”
Explain impact — “That can harm trust and collaboration.”
Reaffirm the standard — “Concerns should be brought directly to the person or to me.”
• Be specific about expectations
• Acknowledge discomfort
• Emphasize protection for everyoneOffer help — “If that’s uncomfortable, I can facilitate.”
Close positively — “Honesty handled right strengthens our team.”
Manager Mindset:
You’re protecting trust, not punishing behavior.
Direct communication protects every voice on the team and keeps trust intact.
📎 Download: Stopping Gossip and Triangulation Before It Spreads (PDF)
Reminder: Join the Office Hours and Role Play Practice sessions to practice redirecting triangulation in real-life team scenarios.
Role-Play Demonstration
🎥 Manager Role-Play Demonstration
Coaching an Underperforming Employee
Lesson Description
In this demonstration, watch how the manager replaces criticism with curiosity and transforms a performance problem into a development plan.
Watch how the manager:
Opens with belief and calm professionalism
Uses questions to draw out self-awareness instead of prescribing fixes
Keeps tone supportive while reinforcing accountability
Co-creates a realistic plan with measurable next steps
Watch For:
The shift from defensiveness to engagement
How “what” and “how” questions create ownership
The moment clarity replaces confusion or avoidance
Reflect:
“How can I use curiosity and belief instead of pressure to inspire ownership in my next coaching conversation?”
Reminder: Join the Office Hours and Role Play Practice sessions to rehearse coaching language and practice curiosity-based feedback.
Say This / Not This —
Coaching an Underperforming Employee
🎥 Say This / Not This — Language That Creates Ownership
Lesson Description
Underperformance often persists because managers talk at employees instead of with them.
These phrasing shifts move the conversation from compliance to commitment.
Say This / Not This Examples:
Not This: “You need to improve.”
Say This: “What do you think needs to change for results to improve?”
Why it works: Invites ownership instead of resistance.
Not This: “I’ll check back to see if you did it.”
Say This: “Let’s decide together what progress will look like by next week.”
Why it works: Reinforces partnership instead of policing.
Not This: “You’re falling behind.”
Say This: “You’ve missed two deadlines—what’s your plan to get back on track?”
Why it works: Uses data to create accountability without judgment.
Key Takeaway:
Coaching builds capability, not compliance.
Ask more, tell less—because ownership drives sustainable improvement.
Reminder: Join the Office Hours and Role Play Practice sessions to refine your tone and timing when using coaching questions.