Handling an Employee Undermines You
When an employee questions your decisions in front of others, spreads negativity, or resists direction, it doesn’t just challenge you — it erodes team trust.
Lesson Description
This framework helps you handle undermining behavior calmly and decisively, restoring collaboration and credibility without power struggles.
You’ll Learn How To:
Identify and address patterns that damage authority
Reset boundaries without defensiveness
Rebuild alignment through clear standards
Maintain professionalism while restoring trust
Core Approach:
You’re not policing personality — you’re protecting team integrity.
Stay steady, stay factual, and focus on behaviors and their impact, not on intent or attitude.
Steps for Handling Undermining Behavior
Set intent
“I want to discuss some patterns affecting team trust.”
→ Establish purpose early; stay neutral and professional.Describe behaviors
“In meetings, you’ve questioned decisions after they were finalized.”
→ Use specific examples — avoid broad labels like “disrespectful.”Explain impact
“That causes confusion and weakens alignment.”
→ Tie the behavior to business or team outcomes.Invite perspective
“What’s driving this? Is something not working for you?”
→ Give them a chance to express concerns and uncover root issues.Acknowledge + redirect
“I appreciate your honesty — once decisions are made, we support them publicly.”
→ Validate input while reinforcing expectations.Reconfirm expectations
“All concerns should come to me directly.”
→ Set a clear behavioral boundary.Close with respect
“You’re valuable — let’s use your voice productively.”
→ Preserve dignity while reaffirming standards..
Role-Play Demonstration
🎥 Manager Role-Play Demonstration
Watch how the manager restores authority without confrontation.
Pay attention to how they lead the conversation calmly and keep focus on impact and expectations rather than emotion.
Watch For:
Neutral phrasing — “I’ve noticed” instead of “You’re being…”
Balanced tone — assertive, not defensive
The pivot — from complaint to collaboration
The close — respectful yet firm
Reflect after watching:
“When someone questions me publicly, how do I react — defensive or steady? What tone would earn respect without escalating tension?”
Say This / Not This —
Handling an Employee Who Undermines
🎥 Say This / Not This — Language Shifts That Restore Trust and Reinforce Authority
When an employee undermines you, your language determines whether you rebuild trust or deepen resistance.
Use these swaps to stay composed, confident, and credible.
Not This: “You’re being disrespectful.”
Say This: “I’ve noticed some patterns that are affecting team trust.”
Why it works: The first attacks character. The second stays factual and neutral.
Not This: “Stop talking behind my back.”
Say This: “Bring any concerns directly to me so we can address them constructively.”
Why it works: The first sounds defensive. The second models professional boundaries.
Not This: “Just do what I say.”
Say This: “Your input is valuable — in the right forum.”
Why it works: The first shuts down dialogue. The second balances authority with respect.
Not This: “You’re making me look bad in front of the team.”
Say This: “When decisions are questioned after alignment, it creates confusion and weakens clarity.”
Why it works: The first centers ego. The second focuses on team impact.
Closing Thought:
Authority isn’t about control — it’s about consistency.
When you speak with clarity, calm, and fairness, you reestablish trust and set the tone for the team to follow.
Say less. Mean more. Lead better.